Enter the realms

Sat, 16 Aug 2008 15:04:35 GMT

LEEDS FESTIVAL NEXT WEEK!
Glee!

So if anyone is going and reckons we should have a drink together outside a tent:

07846219975

^ hit me up on that number. I'm taking 3 phone batteries so I should be able to give you a call and pester you to come see me. That or I'll stumble drunkenly into your campsite :)

I'm going to leave here at 5:30am on thursday to get a good spot.
Woo!

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 23:38:12 GMT

www.plurk.com

^ like twitter, only I like the timeline muuuch more. Never really understood Twitter.
If you don't know what that is then it's like Facebook status updates, but that's all it is. Little updates whenever you feel like it.

I'm addicted.
http://www.plurk.com/user/Abegale

Mon, 12 May 2008 00:47:50 GMT

SUMMERRRRRRRRR.
I've finished uni for summer. GET IN.

O'Neill's offered me a job again, I took it.
I want a proper job but it'll do for now.

None of the boys I want tend to want me but I'm going to gym it up a notch and then tell them I don't want them. We'll see who the winner is.

C-c-currently designing my portfolio, yes yes. Need somewhere for all the potential employerzz to go gaze at my work. Not that I have much to show them, I'll just be ramming it full of photos.

Summer is the time to make beautiful things and develop my skills.
Weird mood.

I want men.

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 01:53:01 GMT

I'm so tired of my desire to be everyone's favourite. It just depresses me when people don't really like me, even if I'm really quite fond of them.

Then there's the feelings that even the people I hang around most don't even like me that much.

People forget about you when you go away and every so often I just feel like I've been put into storage. Like when I appear again it's like, "Oh right, it's you. I forgot about you for a moment there."

I want people to want me around.
I want people to feel like it just wouldn't be the same without me.

I miss college days. I miss being totally ridiculous all the time and hanging round people who appreciated the nonsense.

I want to live in a house with friends, not people who would prefer someone else to have my room.

Roll on next year.

I feel the stubborn side of me is about to kick in.
Already deactivated Facebook, next I uninstall MSN.

"I'll prove they want me and if they don't get in touch I was right all along."

What a loser.

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 12:52:11 GMT

I'm so tired of having the argument about whether you can justify sleeping with someone that isn't your boyfriend/girlfriend, or sleeping with someone that has a boyfriend/girlfriend.

Does your sexual frustration/desire come before the feelings of someone else?
Why should it?

Any selfish person will find a way to justify it, but it'll always be about them.

"So what if you couldn't get laid for the next five years and then someone hot who's in a relationship decides to put out?"

You're not asking me if it's right or wrong, you're asking me what it'd take for me to say yes to something that, right now, I'd never do. What does it take for you to put yourself first?

It's sex. Go ahead and sleep with a hundred people if you have the skills to pull them.
Don't bother with relationships. The whole point of them is to say you wouldn't be with anyone else, not just for regular sex. Have a little self control.

It all just boils down to how much you think you deserve what you want. If you think it should all be about you having fun you'll find a reason.

Just please, don't try and get with me.
I can't go through that again.

Tue, 25 Dec 2007 16:40:17 GMT

I'm bored of Christmas. Today's been one disappointment after another.
It's all down to my attitude though I reckon, so I only have myself to blame.

I wish this headache would go away.

I find myself crying about nothing way too much. This year I managed to cry on my Birthday and Christmas. Excellent.
Then again I could only get a handful of people out (for my 21st) this year and I couldn't even afford to buy myself a drink. Not so different from other years I suppose.
I managed to get 2 people out for my 18th. At 21 there were about 5 but most of them were just out anyway.

I want solid friends. I want an interesting job. I need more motivation.

I wish John wasn't moving away.
I really really wish he wasn't moving away.

Yeah it's for the best, blah blah, but I love being around him. I enjoy his company so much and it just makes me happy to hang out at his. I'm going to miss him so much.

It'll force me to go socialise though. Find new friends, or just sit in alone a lot.

Yeah I suck.
So many people have it so much worse than me and here I am complaining because things got mediocre for a while.

I started this journal with such happy, enthusiastic entries.
Wtf happened to that?

< Abe >

Sun, 07 Oct 2007 10:44:43 GMT

Ha. He got more affectionate and nice.
I'm addicted to him but I couldn't tell you why. It's been 8 or 9 months now.
Weird.

I'm bored.
I want a cheese and pickle sandwich and I want to be 8 to eat it. Cheese and pickle sandwiches pwned back then.

So I'm mostly just sitting around doing internet crap, adding people I haven't spoken to for years to my facebook. I do these things so I can read their profiles and judge them for what they've become. Maybe that was too honest..

Uni's crap because we have 2 essays to do this term. We also have to design a portfolio website and my initial ideas (that I made the morning it was due in) aren't anything like what I'd like my website to be.

I need to focus and do some work. I skipped a few lectures because I'm lazy and Halo 3 appealed to me more.

I love Halo 3. So very addictive.

Can't be bothered with the coach back to Leeds this evening.
Blah.

I want to fall in love.

Thu, 20 Sep 2007 09:13:34 GMT

I don't think he's worth the stress I'm going through or the effort I put into this. There's bound to be people out there who will respond and reciprocate the effort I put in and things I do.

I'm so bad at ending relationships.

It's kind of like when you're sitting at a bus stop and you know the bus is due, but it's just not turning up. You sit there thinking, "Well it could turn up any minute now and it might fly past it if I get up and walk. If I don't walk though I could be sitting here pointlessly and waiting for nothing. I could be somewhere else in less time than I'm waiting here, doing something better."

And so I sit and wait, hoping that something will happen.
I'll stick with it you know. I don't feel confident in myself to be alright on my own.

Whatever.
Uni starts next week, I have work to concentrate on otherwise, and there's big opportunities to make new friends this year. Got to go join societies this year.

Sigh.
What an idiot I am.

Wed, 22 Aug 2007 16:02:18 GMT

If anyone sees me at Leeds festival do say hi.

I'm feeling like utter crap right now and I don't know what to do with myself.

I might as well tell you.
John's been texting some girl from work who kissed him recently when he gave ger a lift home. The texts that she was sending were proper filth and if I hadn't read them and confronted him on it I don't know how far it would've gone had she made proper moves on him.

I can't stop crying when he goes off to work.
I can't bring myself to do anything I need to do today.

I'm so torn between breaking up with him and putting up with this to give him a second chance.

Please help.
I don't need advice, I just need a distraction.

This hurts.

Sat, 31 Mar 2007 23:35:11 GMT

Had a big argument with my dad today, as you do. Makes it 100 times worse when you're in a place thousands of miles from home and you're trapped with only him to talk to.

I miss John a ridiculous amount. I think about him most minutes of the day without even realising it. Just got to speak to him online and I just want to be with him now.
2 weeks.
2 weeks.

Right got 30 seconds before this machine logs me off.

I miss everyone.

< Abe >

Mon, 12 Mar 2007 21:01:21 GMT

Drunk.
Yes.

I love John.
Lots.

Maybe not IN LOVE.. but I love him as much as I love anyone else.
Please let this last for ages.

Thanks.
Abe

xxx

Sat, 10 Mar 2007 15:36:08 GMT

House is sorted for next year!
Yesss.

Now I'm going to nap.

Thu, 01 Mar 2007 12:53:13 GMT

UPDATE

Wed, 28 Feb 2007 22:40:16 GMT

^ Start of something I'm making as a secret present for John.
He knows I've started making him sonething but I'm not telling him what it is.

Apparantly my Valentine's Day present finally arrived today.
Wahey! I have no idea what it is...

Sun, 18 Feb 2007 17:18:43 GMT

I'm so bored.
I'm sitting in John's at his computer wondering what I want to be doing and wishing my gamertag would work on his 360. I don't know why it's bing so annoying but I reckon playing some games would pobably lighten my mood.
Not feeling like the happiest person in the world today but I get like that when I'm utterly bored. John says he'll drive me back to my flats but then I'll be bored and lonely.

I'm scared I'm messing things up with him at the moment. I keep just falling into my silent moods and he thinks I'm in a mood or being abnormal. I've just been very tired recently and I need variety in my life or I turn very boring myself.
By variety I mean I need a job or something. I need more friends and more things to do.

I want to come home for a week and do fun things with people. I won't have a full week in Liverpool for months now because at Easter I'm travelling with my dad for 3 weeks, then I'll just have to head back to uni. That means that's going to be a whole month without John.

A month.

That's going to suck big time.

Oh yeah.. I broke the LCD screen on my camera.

Gutted. Seriously.
I don't know why I have so much bad luck with LCD screens but I've broken another and I hate myself for it. I don't have the money for a new camera and I don't know what to do.
My camera is one of the most important things I own and I love taking photos. I can still take some but I can barely use the camera properly so anything I do take will most probably turn out rubbish.
Sigh.

I'm going to apply for a job in O'Neills and have a look around for jobs in other places.
The plan is that if I get a job it might giv me something else I have to do and will provide a little variety. Seeing as I met so many people when I worked in the Birkey I reckon having a job will help me to broaden my network of friends in Leeds.

Yes? Yes.
Here's hoping.

Aw John just came up and hugged me for a bit, gave a little abuse and is playing away on his guitar right now. I don't think he's aware of the whole lj thing so I can keep typing without him really knowing that I'm talking about him.
Tuning le guitar, he is.
Cute. He certainly is loveable.

You know I keep going to update and I write semi decent entries and then just save them as private ones. Mainly because I never finish them and I usually plan to after a while. I never do though thanks to the old attention span.

Liverpool people might see me in like 2 weeks.
I need a trip home. Yes yes.

Done.

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 20:02:03 GMT

Forget "practically" .. more like "actually".

Lets hope I don't mess this one up.

[clickable photos. The man shaved]

Tue, 23 Jan 2007 12:24:03 GMT

^^ That's John. (it's clickable.. but not against very good photo)

[Click for his MySpace]

I'm practically seeing him but we're seeing how things go and haven't made things concrete yet.

He hasn't shaved for like 2 weeks btw and that was taken at like 11:15 this morning. "I'll do it later." He says.

I'm going to go to uni now and I'll update you on my life when I get home and have nothing better to do ^_^

Ciao.

< Abe >

Mon, 08 Jan 2007 17:37:10 GMT

The fire alarm was turned off.

Then it came back on again.

Mon, 08 Jan 2007 16:27:08 GMT

Fire alarms suck.
Woke me up.

Went on for an age and now my ears hurt.

Sat, 06 Jan 2007 04:54:04 GMT

I want a website. I think that's one thing I'm going to look into some time soon because I've wanted hosting for such a long time.

Back to Leeds in a matter of hours.
:(

I'll miss home again. I just got comfortable again!
This sucks.

I won't be back properly at Easter either because I'm going on holiday for 3 weeks with my dad.
Come to Leeds and visit me.

*sigh*

I just want to feel right somewhere.

Thu, 28 Dec 2006 19:41:32 GMT

1. Have you had any relationships this year?
One.

2. Have you had your birthday yet?
16 days ago. I'm 20 now.

3. Seen Happy Feet ?
Nah

4. Been on a diet?
No but I'm starting to sort out my eating habits when I get back to uni. Ceri and me are going to abuse each other into eating properly.

5. Pulled an all nighter?
Several

6. Drank Starbucks?
With my mum in Leeds ^_^

8. Bought something(s)?
Must have seeing as I'm £800+ into my overdraft

9. Met someone special?
Several people.

10. Been out of state?
Been on holiday. Live out of Liverpool.

11. Gone Snowboarding?
Nein.

12. What are you thinking about?
That's got nothing to do with 2006! Mostly thinking about the males I've fallen for this year though. It's quite a silly number too.

Have you...

1.) Hugged someone?
Of course

2.) Slept in someone elses bed?
At least 5

3.) Drank any alcohol?
Litres and litres.

4.) Loaned out money?
Got a student loan for myself.

5.) Gotten in a car accident?
Nah

6.) Gone over your cell phone bill?
PAYG

7.) Been called a whore?
Most probably but I'm not

8.) Done something you regret?
A couple of things

Last Person you hugged?
Mum or grandma

Last Person to call you?
No idea

When was the last time you felt stupid?
All the time

Who was the last person you danced with?
People in Blues on Christmas Day. 'twas a laugh and a half.

Who did you last yell at?
I can't even remember, probably a sister. (no, not a nun)

What did you do today?
Got a taxi home, went online, watched dvds until about 7am, slept, got up and ate, came online.

Hair style?
Just a little layered and long

Are you happy?
Not entirely.

Do you love someone right now?
Not in a romantic sense.

----------------------------------------

I confess that in 2006 I...

( ) stayed single for the whole year
( ) got your first kiss
(x) kissed someone new
( ) dated someone twice
( ) made-out for the first time
(x) made-out in/on a car
( ) dyed your hair
( ) had a major illness
(x) got dumped
( ) dumped someone
( ) got cheated on
(x) played an instrument
( ) said i love you and didn't mean it
( ) almost died
( ) kissed in the snow
( ) fell/been in love
( ) had your heart broken
( ) had a stalker
(x) had a good relationship with someone
(x) someone questioned your sexual orientation
( ) came out of the closet
( ) gotten pregnant
( ) gotten someone else pregnant
( ) had an abortion
( ) gotten married
( ) had a divorce
(x) dated someone you'll never forget
(x) done something you've regretted
( ) lost someone you love
( ) lost faith in love
( ) kissed under miseltoe

OTHER
(x) painted a picture
( ) wrote a poem
(x) listened to music you couldn't stand
( ) double-dipped
( ) skinny-dipped
( ) went to a sleepover
(x) went camping
( ) threw a surprise party
(x) laughed till you cried
( ) laughed till you peed in your pants
(x) flirted shamelessly
(x) visited a foreign country
( ) visited a new state
( ) cooked a disastrous meal
( ) lost something important to you
(x) got a gift you adore
(x) drank
( ) got arrested

Sat, 16 Dec 2006 21:22:14 GMT

Ok I'm simply p*'d off now.
I want my NYC hoody back before I go home. I wear it constantly around the house and it serves me well when it's cold and I can't be bothered picking something to wear. I left it in Kurt's for reasons I'll never tell and I've been trying for the past couple of days to get it back.
He's cutting off my calls and ignoring my texts and if I try any longer I'll look like a psycho.

ARGH!

I'm sick and tired of these circles I'm going in. I always say it, and I'll continue to for a while until I either stop dwelling on it or find someone that hasn't got an 'ex' they kind of want to run back to, or someone who doesn't disappear.

Sat, 09 Dec 2006 10:01:24 GMT

3 hours and I'll be on the train to Kings Cross to go party for a few days with randoms and a Wii!

2 days and The Realms will be a trio again for 2 nights!

3 days... and I'll be 20...

5 days and I'll be back in Liverpool!

My only hope is that I don't have a hangover in the next hour or so.

In any case the next week is going to be brilliant.

And what are you doing today?

< A very excited Abe >

Mon, 04 Dec 2006 04:15:53 GMT

Why is it I start bricking it about work I need to do when I'm lying in bed?
I was trying to sleep, feeling crappy about things I shouldn't worry about, when suddenly I realised how much I have to do this week. I think my head is trying to say "Look, think about that some other time. Do you realise how much work you should be doing?"

And then I realised I do have a lot of work to be doing. Of course I couldn't sleep after that and now I'm sitting here writing a journal entry and browsing websites for some sort of inspiration.
I have ideas, I just don't like the thought of asking my friends to pose for photos for me.

----------
For Wednesday:
Website
Poster
Banner Ad
Evaluative Report

For Friday:
Edit a 4 minute film
Evaluation of film and process

----------

Sleep sleep.

Thu, 30 Nov 2006 22:09:27 GMT

Blam.

Kurt cancelled. To say I'm suprised this happened would be a total lie.
Not his fault, he has friends oming up and they want him to go out with them.

I'm just bored of looking forward to things that never actually happen.
I'm going in circles.

CIRCLES.